I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
