we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
