im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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