He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish my penis had an off switch
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
