just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
