One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
3pm strippers are depressing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
