Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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