So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
