I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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