I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
