You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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