Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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