Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
