so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
