Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no you cant smoke seaweed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
