Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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