I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
