after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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