Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
