Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
