The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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