i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
