You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
