No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
