my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i dont even know how to be here
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
