Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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