I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Enjoy the penises
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
