So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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