Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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