he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
