how can u be prego again
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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