You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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