I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
