so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
