is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
