look no pants
I just saw a hot homeless man
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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