I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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