He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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