Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize