First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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