It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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