So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
