What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
