Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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