no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
