i think i have two assholes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
