Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So much rum. So many feels.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
