kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
