i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
