We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
