We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
