thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
