O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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