I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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