Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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