Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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