just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
