So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
