4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
